It may seem as though getting what you want in life is difficult, if not impossible. However from my personal and professional experience it is possible and easier than you think! You may not get everything everytime, but you sure can work to be successful in whatever you are going to do, and in turn get what you want!
The biggest thing is your mentality and how you approach life. If you come with a “me, myself, and I” perspective, people will see through that and you will be target to take down rather than help up. Life should be about service, adding value for people, and looking out after their best interests. Putting others first and in good faith makes you more likeable, trustworthy, and someone that people want to see succeed. Think about, how many times have you seen someone people dislike rise through the ranks on the backs of others and causing nothing but ill-will? On the flip side, how many times have you seen people relieved and pleased with the success of someone they like?
Here are some tips that can help you get what you want in life!
- Be Genuinely Interested in Other People. People love to talk about themselves. Help them do it. Ask questions that show you care, want to know more about them, and truly enjoy what they are saying. People will know if you fake this because you will forget what was said the next day! When you see them again, ask about a specific topic they talked about before such as their kids’ recitals or wife’s big speech. Drop a congratulatory line when something goes well, and offer condolences when they don’t. And don’t forget to use their names. That is music to their ears and the sweetest thing they can hear. In order to do all of this though, you have to learn to listen, and never stop listening. God gave us ONE mouth and TWO ears because he wants us to listen twice as much as speak. This in my opinion is one of the most important skill a person can have. Ernest Hemingway said, “When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.” Unfortunately this is true, most people have their own agenda and are too busy talking, waiting to talk, or thinking of what they are going to talk about than listen to you. And when you listen, do it with empathy and understanding. It will take you far in life!
- The Golden Rule Works. The proverb, “Do unto others what you want done unto you” was one of the first things many of us learned. Why? Because it is that important. The other way to see this is to always put yourself in the other person’s situation. If you were that person, what would you want to hear? What would you want to be done or said? If you are genuinely interested in people, then you will know if they are going through a rough patch and need encouragement, or just need some guidance and help. One of the best questions to ask someone is “How can I help you?” or “How may I be of service to you today?” Nothing cheers someone up like someone genuinely trying to help them reach their goals and dreams. Imagine helping people get to the top without expecting anything in return. The returns will be quite high!
- Be Real, Be Yourself, Be Honest. Nobody likes people with a facade or are fake with double personalities. Be authentic and transparent. When you are vulnerable in this manner you breed trust, strengthening relationships. If you open up to people, they will in turn open up to you. Connecting on an emotional level will help get what you need, and also what you want. Nobody is perfect, and anyone who pretends to be is setting themselves up for failure. By being honest, you are allowing people with strengths to overcome your weaknesses, and offering your strengths to help overcome others’ weaknesses. This makes for a solid, tight-knit team that together is far more effective than an individual. This is putting the team ahead of you. You can only do this if you are real and honest with people.
- Be Passionate, Be Positive. Bring true passion where ever you go. Smile at people and show enthusiam, it’s contagious. But so is being a debbie downer. You want to bring optimism, not sadness, sarcasm, or pessimism. I have seen negative people suck the joy out of a room, bringing everyone down. People will follow and trust those that are positive and passionate. If you want something badly, show excitement and want it more than anyone else. If you are not passionate or dedicated, than it will not seem important to you. Perception is reality for people and when people trust you, like you, and see your passion, they can’t help but want to see you succeed.
- Be a Great Communicator. Don’t try to sell people, tell them, but more importantly show them. Convince them why they need to do what needs to get done. Nobody wants to be sold. Focus on telling a great story, bringing to life what will happen if you get what you want. People will want to become part of your story and help others become part of your story. That is part of being magnetic and charismatic. As part of being a great communicator, don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know” “I am sorry” and “Thank You.” Gratitude, honesty, and being responsible for your actions engender trust and respect. You need them to get what you want. Many people overlook or forget to say these words. Some believe they are a sign of weakness and too proud to say them. In fact they are a sign of strength. Not admitting mistakes or ignorance has the opposite effect of what was intended. Don’t be afraid to communicate your feelings. Show your deep gratitude and appreciation for people and what they have done. They will not forget it and will open up many doors.
- Be Thoughtful and Fun! Surprise and indulge others. Make them happy. You will remind them that you are the type of person that will do it again. If you go out of your way to give people incredible, thoughtful, and fantastic experiences, they will never forget it. Especially if they least expect it, they will be grateful and want to return the favor. Go above and beyond with people! One couple left their son’s stuffed giraffe at the Ritz. Their son couldn’t sleep without it so the father said that “Joshie” was taking an extended vacation. The father called the Ritz to explain what happened and see if they could send it back. They did plus much more. They sent a picture book with “Joshie” hanging out at the pool, getting a massage, playing with friends, and even got an ID card as a loss prevention officer. Imagine the incredible reaction! This is why Ritz is the best at what they do. That is how you want people to see you.
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